"The Happiest Moment of My Life"

Have you ever caught yourself taking life for granted?  Have you ever heard a story that shakes you back into reality?  Or you say to yourself, “Wow, I’m glad I’m not living there right now…”

Why is it, that sometimes, it takes a death, a terrorist act, or losing our income for us to help us remember what matters most?

I was a sitting passenger, in a green Honda Caravan minivan, driving to the Calgary Airport this morning, the weather a frigid -15oC, frost on the windshield, cold enough to make your bare hands burn if you’re outside for more than 5 minutes without proper winter gear.  

I was with my Father-in-law, or my Oi Fu (in Cantonese), recently retired, a finishing carpenter, still working, who was kind enough to drive me.  As is our tradition, we started chatting about life and what’s made the difference for us.

He relayed a transformational moment in his life, part of his story escaping Communist China some 40 years ago, with only a small inflatable raft, an unrelenting determination, roped to two of his other friends rafts, the three of them swimming across the channel by nightfall.  His goal, swim the channel, bypass patrolling communist ships, and escape to Hong Kong.  If he did, it would offer a life of limitless promise and opportunity.

He said to me while driving, “I think people are foolish when they complain,”

“Why do you say that?” I asked

“People don’t realize that they can open up a newspaper, look at the classifieds, and find any job they want, I still remember that finding a job wasn’t even a choice.  Can you imagine?  When I finished high school, there was no future.  The government eliminated so many choices.  That’s why I decided to leave.  Even now, some people are literally running for their lives, and there’s still people in prosperity who complain about how their life isn’t good enough.”

“It’s true, I do that still and it accomplishes very little…” I admitted.

“I still remember the happiest moment of my life,” he said to me, moving on.

“What was the most happiest moment of your life?”  I asked, the most curious I’ve ever been amongst his stories.

“It was the morning after attempting to escape, swimming the whole night.  My friends and I were floating in the water exhausted.  I saw a boat approaching us, I thought it might be a communist ship and we might be sent back home to prison.  But I wasn’t sure.  Then, I saw the english letters on it.  I knew the ship was from Hong Kong.  It wasn’t a communist ship!  The boat slowed beside each of us, they lowered a rope to us.”

“Did they pull you up or did you have to climb up?”

“They didn’t pull, I climbed, I wasn’t going to stay in the water after coming so far, I had to do it.”

“The happiest moment of my life…” he continued, “Is when I landed in that Hong Kong Fisherman’s boat.  Because I knew at that point, it was the beginning of My New Life.  I knew I could begin to design my life the way I wanted.”

He paused, and I looked into his eyes, I could see he felt some reverence in that moment.  And I took it in.

Two lessons thundered in my mind at that moment:

“Agency (the ability to choose) is a gift, but Freedom is earned.” - Brandon Broadwater

"The person with the most choices, wins." - Blair Dunkley

Frank then finished, “And ever since then, I have never complained in my life.  Never.”

I paused for a moment, and admired him, I knew he wasn’t trying to be superior.  I understood that he chose to be grateful no matter what his circumstances were.

What’s the point of all this?

What do we do with the freedom that is ours to enjoy?  

What will we do with each minute of every day that is freely ours to build, inspire, create, love, cherish, excel, share, and uplift?

Using the knowledge I’ve learned from incredible mentors, has allowed me to enjoy freedom right now without getting myself stranded in the past or worrying about the future.  It’s like having the keys to the car so I can enjoy the ride and the journey to my desired destination.  People can’t make choices they know they don’t have.

Just like how my Oi Fu was offered a rope to a life of freedom, each us live in an environment where we can reject the rope offered us, or climb and design the life we desire.

Keep fighting.  It’s a gift to live in such prosperity.  And thank you to friends for empowering me with even more choices than I ever knew existed.  I wouldn't be here without you.

If you need a friend to talk to about whatever challenge you're working on right now.  Feel free to talk with me.  I'm happy to make time for you. 

If you’d like to learn more about what Higher Laws Training is like click here

If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com

If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here

3 Questions To Lovingly Disrupt Your Time Belief Limits

Have you ever made a rule about how long it would take you to achieve something?

I know I did.  And I was right.  It did take me that long.

But then, I watched someone my age, make a different rule, and they, like me were right.   They made a rule about how long they wanted to become financially independent, and they did.  I still wanted what they had, but now I wasn't content waiting 10 more years for it!

What time beliefs did they have that I didn't?

One of the best stories I love about disrupting time limiting beliefs is the story of the 4 Minute Mile record shattered by Sir Roger Bannister.  More people had climbed Mount Everest than running the mile under 4 minutes.  Determined beyond the Professional Naysayers with credentials indicating that such a feat was "Impossible", Bannister went to work with his legs while his antagonists intellectualized in their heads.

Bannister said,


"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win."

When I want a result, and feel like it's going to take forever, I like to disrupt my time limiting beliefs towards desired result depends on two key questions:


1) "What if I could achieve this result in ______ (fill-in-the-blank with the time period), what is the best way I could do that?


2) "What gaps are holding me back from achieving this result in X amount of time?"


3) "What tools might I leverage to get this result even faster?" (If you could choose between a Do you a bicycle, horse, car, or jet plane, which would you want?)


Don't be fooled that you'll achieve this on your first try!

This may not mean you achieve it on the first try - but I remember creating one tool that took a task 5 minutes down to 5 seconds.  That's 295 extra seconds of productivity!

Some people see the gaps that hold them back, while others create the gap to where they want to be.  Both will leverage you forward.

Darren Hardy, founder of Success Magazine said it like this:

"Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = RADICAL DIFFERENCE" - The Compound Effect

What do you do to disrupt time limiting beliefs?

What do you do when someone says to achieve a result will take forever?

Enjoy a fabulous weekend everyone!

If you’d like to learn more about some of the trainings I’ve attended click here

If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com

If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here

1 Skill That Is Worth a Lifetime to Master

Have you ever been in an environment where you felt fear, inadequacy, or overwhelm?  Or do you performs awesome in multiple areas of life but when it comes to another area they freeze and hold back?

For five years I had a goal, something that I not only wanted to do, but that I loved to do.  I wanted to improve my nutrition and grow incredibly nutritious microgreen sunflower sprouts.  

During those five years however, there was a little voice in my head that said:

"Are you kidding me, you've never done this before.  It's not going to work."

"Sounds like way too much work with the stuff you've got going on right now.  Maybe later"

Not surprisingly, 5 years passed by, and nothing.  I only the other side of me that said, "I wonder what life would be like if I had done... ?"  

Have you ever had that voice before?

After a couple months of no progress, that result became a distant memory and I forgot about it.  Isn’t that kind of scary?  Being in a position where something was so exciting, something I wanted so bad, only weeks later to have forgotten it?     

But because of this one skill, all that transformed.  And the amazing part as well, it gave people hope, desire, and excitement that maybe, just maybe, they could do it too.  And at the same time I was like "This is awesome!! I've wanted to do this for 5 years and now it happened!"  Here's some pictures of the final results.

What did I do differently to manifest that seed and remain diligent to help it become a sprout?

The Key is I created a plan.

One of my mentors taught me that anytime there is a gap between where we're at right now versus the results we want is that there's not a process or a plan in place.  

One of the cool definitions of plan is that it is influenced by the late 17th century Italian definition of “plan” which means to “plan of building.”  This coincides with another mean - “design”.  This suggest we must create something intangibly before it is create tangibly.  

What is the value of a plan?  What do people’s lives look like that operate without a plan?

Can you imagine working with a construction company, intent on helping you build your dream home, you knew exactly what you wanted, and they said to you, “We don’t use blueprints, we’ve always done best winging it.”?

What makes the difference between an rock solid plan vs a plan held together with masking tape? 

You’ll know your plan is ready by how you feel about it - do you feel excited?  Does the plan give you energy?  Does it give you confidence that the result is within reach?  If it does, you’re ready.

Here’s the 7 elements that work for me:

Write it down

Review it daily (must be easily accessible)

Specify the Tools needed (bring them in proximity to each other)

Identify and the list the Skills necessary

Identify the Relationships You Need to Excel (experts in the process)

Write out the Process To achieve the goal (step-by-step, phase-by-phase)

Follow-through - for help in getting momentum with the baby steps - review Derek Doepker’s Blog “3 Magic Words to Overcome Overwhelm”

I know this works - I’ve created tens of plans in the last couple months and the results are unending and the momentum is exciting.   I’m excited to hear your results.  

What do you think is the value of a plan?   I would love to hear to hear your comments.  Please post below.  Good luck!  

If you’d like to learn more about some of the trainings I’ve attended click here

If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com

If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here

1 Underestimated Attribute That Only Winners Understand

Have you ever had a moment where you wanted something so bad but it seemed like it took forever?

I remember thinking to myself at times, "If I just had a million dollars then life would be perfect!"

Of course, the million never came, and I was left with either the choice of giving up on a path that was tremendously difficult both financially and emotionally.  But I didn't, a little voice saying to me, "How you do one thing is how you do everything."  Now there definitely is times to appropriately quit and find different environments, but with this one I evaluated myself,

"If I stay on this path will this draw my true potential or diminish it?"

The answer was clear, but immensely uncomfortable.

However, because I stuck with it, something magical happened.

The magic happened when I was at my apex of frustration, the height of desperation, and I shouted to myself inside "For things to get better, I must get better!!!"  And I was hungry, hunting for any information that would turn the tide in my entrepreneurial and life endeavours.

I did find trainings and education that has flipped my world upside down, 180 degrees, and are giving me results I wouldn't have ever imagined in my fondest dreams.

The attribute that I need that allowed me to get to that place?

Patience.

But I misunderstood patience for the longest time - it's not simply hoping and wishing for things to get better when circumstances are hard or problems seem unending.  Patient people have a plan - a real effective plan brings hope.  A true plan brings inspired vision and exciting possibility.  If you're not feeling confident or excited about your plan, work it until you do.

When Michael Jordan was cut from a basketball team, he didn't give up, he dug deep, practiced harder and longer than anyone else, and went onto to lead his team into multiple NBA championships.

When our family went through a house fire, I remember my Dad saying to my anxious, worried Mom on the phone "Things are going to be just fine, we've been through storms, we know how to get them, storms don't last forever.  This too will pass."

When Thomas Edison failed for the 9,997 time, he simply said, "This doesn't work.  What might I do differently to make this work even better?"

Patient people don't just wait, watching youtube videos or scrolling Facebook newsfeeds while the plan is ignored.  Patient has many family members that make it the Underestimated attribute that it is.

Work is an integral part of patience.  If there is no work, you're not being patient, you're just waiting for something that's not being worked on.

I ask myself, "Am I nurturing this plan every day or in the frequency it requires?"

A seed that is neglected its nurturement but being waited, will never grow.

A relationship that is not blossoming in passion or progression but the other partner wishes that partner would change is setting themselves up for failure.

Wanting even more money without even giving a thought of how to serve or working that plan to serve will bring pitiful results.

There's one more component that if left ignored, the whole goal won't even matter, you'll be resentful about it, and done completely out of obligation.  But if it is there, there will be the motivation and momentum to go for it.

My friend Brandon Broadwater with Higher Laws said this, "Nothing we do matters, unless we do it with love."

Have you ever done business with someone who loved what they did?  Or they just loved to be there?  Or they just loved to meet and be with you?  Isn't that the best way to experience relationships?

How do we generate that love we need for something if we don't feel like it?

This is the process I use (but you can modify it to what might work even better for you)

1)  Listen Uplifting Music
2) Express Gratitude "What am I grateful for right now?  What would me life be like without this?"
3) Remember the People That Believed in me enough to love me
4) Ask myself, "What would make them smile today?"
5) Ask myself, "Can I just ______" (fill in an action step super easy) - see a blog by Derek Doepker -incredible! - 3 Magic Words To Overcome Overwhelm
6) Go and do it

You're guaranteed to enjoy the confidence of patience if you add in the elements of work, an effective plan, and love.  These have shifted my thoughts from "Will this ever happen for me?" to "I know this will happen, it will just need some time."

And you can enjoy those thoughts just as easily.

If you’d like to learn more about some of the trainings I’ve attended click here

If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com

If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here

Leave No Man Behind

“Leave No Man Behind” - My Lessons In Success Language Patterns

Performance Matters.

I learned this very quickly entering into the entrepreneurial world see zeros in sales, as a husband forgetting important details, and definitely as a parent neglecting at times my children.  Feedback can sometimes comes quick and clear.  Remembering Jim Rohn's advice, "For things to change, I must change, for things to get better, I must get better," I looked for ways I could improve.  I look for those who perform at an elite, world-class level and study what are their belief, language, and question patterns and see if I can replicate them.

One group that I've studied that requires some of most intense training in the world mentally, physically, and emotionally is the Navy SEALs.

I recently watched a documentary of BUDs (Basic Underwater Demolotion/Seals Training) Class 234 of the training program young men go through to become some of the elite warriors of North America.  The average dropout rate in Navy Seals camp is 80%.  Training from Bootcamp until actual deployment averages about 2 years.  Out of the hundreds of millions of people in the United States, the team of Navy Seals is 2,500.

Beyond the excitement of guns blazing, detonating explosives, and underwater diving, I was most interested in their thought and speech patterns.

I expected to get entertained, but instead, I got educated.

I remember one of my mentors sharing with me two attributes that separates good business from great businesses.  The great businesses embrace these two attributes and remain fiercely competitive and passionate about their value.  When circumstances arise, they leverage them to their advantage to serve even more effectively.  Without these two attributes, good companies eventually plateau, and then decline, and then disappear.

Those two attributes are “Flexible and Adaptable”

Watching different documentaries I noticed a pattern, and wrote down (paraphrasing) some of the language patterns out of that group.

“‘I can’t’ isn’t part of our vocabulary”

“What sets us apart from other units is our ability to adapt to any given situation.”

“It doesn’t matter if we lost communication with our main unit, we’ll do whatever it takes to get the mission done.”

“There is no top dog in our group, the minute you think you’re something special you’re out, we get things done only because we work together as one unit, one team.”

“When bullets are flying I’m not thinking about me, I’m thinking about the guy beside me, I want more than anything to make sure he’s safe and protected.”

I wanted to dig a little bit more into some of the philosophy about how the Navy Seal group defines themselves.  What I found was their formal Team Code.  I was inspired from it.  It made me retrain how I think about success and how some of the common principles of perseverance, persistance, and endurance play into success.  Especially one of my favourite lines:  

“A common man with uncommon desire to succeed.”

“By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day.”

Here is their Team Code:

“In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation’s call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed.

Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America’s finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life.

I am that man.

My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day.

My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own.

I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men.

Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.

We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations.

I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.

We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me – my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete.

We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend.

Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed. I will not fail.”  (Source: http://navyseals.com/nsw/seal-code-warrior-creed/)

I said this Team Code out loud and it inspired new questions and thoughts for me to consider as I work and enjoy my relationships.  

A story that helps capture the simplicity of this is of a News Reporter visiting Apple Computers Headquarters, he casually approached an employe at a cubicle and noticed that the employee was writing an email.  The news reporter introduced himself, explained what he was doing and asked the employee:

“What are you writing in your email?”

“You don’t understand, I’m not writing an email.  I’m changing the world.” 

What would your business, partnership, or family look like if each member exhibited enthusiasm, motivation, discipline, and drive to succeed embodied in the Navy SEALs code or like the Apple Computers Employee?  How would that look in 1 year?  How about 5 years?  What would that cost your relationships if mediocre energy stayed the same for those same increments of time?  How much is passion and energy of value to you?

One of my friends told me how critical it is to create, live, and maintain high standards, because not only does it filter out those who don’t want your association, but it filters in those who are inspired, motivated, and want to experience life with you at peak performance.  I know this is real because I’m part of a group where I know that my team members will fight for me (they’ll go the extra mile to make sure that I’m doing well when I’m struggling).  What is the value of that kind of relationship?  I can’t put a price tag on it.  I can’t be offered more money for it.

Here’s a question I ask myself to replicate thought pattern success:

“On a scale of 1-10, how much do I believe in what I’m doing right now?”

“Knowing what I know right now, what’s one easy, little thing I might do differently to turn that belief into a 10?”

I invite you to expand your passion and belief in what you do.  Good luck!  

If you’d like to learn more about some of the trainings I’ve attended click here

If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com

If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here

You'll Want To Remember This...

There’s been one common phrase my wife and I have used that’s been in a moment of frustration, crisis, or plain irritation.  Not so much at each other, but towards ourselves.  It would involve little things like car keys, wallets, glasses, and other small but critical items.  Or sometimes it would be a task like following up with someone.  Irregardless, this phrase would sometimes through our whole day upside down and we’d be wallowing in a pit of self-despair or discouragement.  It can make a 5 minute task take 20 minutes, or a 1 hour task 3 hours depending on the circumstance.  It generally makes little things big, and short periods of time longer.

I remember a specific instance where my wife and I were on our way to get married in southern Alberta, and we were certain that we had everything packed.  After a great drive and conversation, we were tired, it was about midnight, we did a quick check to make sure we had everything we needed for our wedding day - a look of curiosity and uncertainty came across my face and I look toward my wife and asked:

“Do you know where the wedding dress is?”

“Should be in the car…”

“I don’t see it.”

I remember my mind racing “I’ll drive back up 3.5 hours tonight!”

“Don’t you dare!!” she protested - knowing that I might fall asleep on the road.

“How are we going to get the dress?!

“We’ve got friends that live in Airdrie (where the dress was), we can ask them to drive it down.”

It all ended up working out in the end, the dress came, the wedding happened, we got married and everything worked out.  In the moment, it felt like everything would come to a screeching halt.  But, through my wife’s resourcefulness everything worked out.

The phrase that I was referring to in the beginning of this blog is the phrase:

“I forgot.”

Recently one of my friends who is an electrician, made a simple wiring mistake that costed the company he worked for $8,000 and almost terminated his employment.

An experienced airplane pilot illustrated the consequences of forgetting in a story an airplane crash that impacted hundreds of families:

On a dark December night 36 years ago, a Lockheed 1011 jumbo jet crashed into the Florida Everglades, killing over 100 people. This terrible accident was one of the deadliest crashes in the history of the United States.

A curious thing about this accident is that all vital parts and systems of the airplane were functioning perfectly—the plane could have easily landed safely at its destination in Miami, only 20 miles (32km) away.

During the final approach, however, the crew noticed that one green light had failed to illuminate—a light that indicates whether or not the nose landing gear has extended successfully. The pilots discontinued the approach, set the aircraft into a circling holding pattern over the pitch-black Everglades, and turned their attention toward investigating the problem.

They became so preoccupied with their search that they failed to realize the plane was gradually descending closer and closer toward the dark swamp below. By the time someone noticed what was happening, it was too late to avoid the disaster.

After the accident, investigators tried to determine the cause. The landing gear had indeed lowered properly. The plane was in perfect mechanical condition. Everything was working properly—all except one thing: a single burned-out lightbulb. That tiny bulb—worth about 20 cents—started the chain of events that ultimately led to the tragic death of over 100 people.

Of course, the malfunctioning lightbulb didn’t cause the accident; it happened because the crew placed its focus on something that seemed to matter at the moment while losing sight of what mattered most.

This story prompted me to ask myself:  

What is the cost of forgetting something?  

Well, it depends.  Forgetting my wife’s birthday has different consequences that forgetting to bring my passport to the airport.  Forgetting to look both ways before crossing the street is different than forgetting my credit card in the ATM machine.

I love one principle that Brandon Broadwater taught me at the Higher Laws Answer to Everything Event.  That helped me realize the consequence of forgetting.  Because of this I’ve placed tremendous more energy and focus on things that seemed insignificant in the moment, but later on they had a domino effect that impacted the whole result.  He said this:

“Life is won and lost with the little things.”

So I began asking myself, how do I win with the little things?

I learned from different trainings that if I want predictability and clarity with the little things - those little things need to be written down, accessible, and following in a process that must create a predictable result.  In the past, whenever I would get a new product I bought, like a new little toy kitchen for my children (some assembly required).  I would almost certainly disregard the instructions, trusting in my capacity and intellect rather than on the creator of the product who had tested and knew the limitations and capacity and best methods of maintaining it.  Realizing that there were hundreds of parts, at least 48 specific steps that needed to be followed in order, and after 45 minutes of painful lack of progress, I submitted to the instructions.  

I’ve come to realize that if there’s a gap between what I do and the results I’m expericiencing I just need to ask one simple question that can fill in the gap.  

“Do I have an effective process for this?”

Let me explain, a process is simply exactly what it is - a checklist, a recipe, a pattern, a set of instructions, or as webster would define it:

“a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end”

Most of the time, whenever I would forget, or consistently not achieve a result I wanted - it was because I didn’t have a process that helped me effectively get that result.  And most of the time, instead of inventing the wheel, I would go to a mentor, coach, or friend who consistently achieved the result that I wanted.  After getting coached in the specific thought process and behaviour patterns they used to achieve that result - I achieved it as well.  I went from a 2 year procrastinated goal being done in 2 weeks, I went from 3 hour meetings being effectively done in 20 minutes, I went from being terrified of training people to helping them become so self-reliant with skills that they said to me, “I feel like I’ve been doing this for 5 years!”  Of course, I’m still learning, but the comparison and contrast of results is phenomenal and I’m most grateful to begin the pathway of what I call “Process Mastery”.  

This makes sense when the rich, wealthy, successful, happy relationships, families, say, “We’re not anything special, we’re not smarter than anyone else, we’re not anymore talented than anyone else, we just do things differently.”  

I've noticed a paradox with following a process.  I thought it might make my life robotic and rigid, but in reality, I've noticed that it unleashes my creativity to make things even more effective.  It also gives me what I value most, TIME.

Here’s a screenshot of a process I use when I commence my work each morning - I love the clear and predictable result I experience when I follow it.  I used Google Forms to create this - but you can use any type of word processor to create your own checklist.  Here’s what it looks like:

I wish you success in mastering and remembering the little things,

Rory

If you’d like to learn more about some of the trainings I’ve attended click here

If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com

If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here

What Time Is It?

Being Christmas time, it's definitely is a time of mixed messages, priorities, schedules, and expectations.  I remember years ago, being tight on cash, being married with two little ones, I felt immense confusion on what really mattered to me at Christmas time, I even felt my identity being in crisis as a striving breadwinner for my family, and I'd ask all kinds of poor quality questions that were purely assumptions and illusionary:

• "Could Christmas only be Christmas if I could supply gifts for my family?"

• "What would other people think of me if I couldn't give them presents like I had in previous years?"

• "Am I a failure because I can't give my family the Christmas I would want?"

With this kind of momentum of questions in my mind, Christmas became the last thing I wanted to have my mind on.  I kept my focus primarily on what other people might think of me if I didn't perform in a way they hoped for.  I simply created negative possibility outcomes in the future.

I remember learning one simple principle that shifted all this completely.

It's a principle of time and action, one that allows me to completely shift my focus onto what really matters, what helps me be even more happy, enjoy the most important moments in my life, and really drink the best juice out of life.  It takes away the conditional love, the fears, and false illusions that used to drain me of energy and desire to serve others.

Because I used it I could say to myself, "This is the best Christmas of my life.  This the best moment of my life.  I'm so grateful that I can enjoy loving others and not feel burnt out and resentful."  Because I use it, I get to enjoy more tender moments where she looks at me lovingly in my eyes and says "You're my best friend, I love getting to live each day with you, I just want to enjoy even more time together."  Of course there's still moments that stretch every piece of me, but overall, in contrast compared to where I was 5 years ago it doesn't even touch close.

The principle that I'm referring to is learning how to live life in the PRESENT.

What does this mean?

I learned, "Living in the Present" is what I effectively think, speak, and do in the PRESENT with empowering language that makes the measurable difference.  I learned that in the english language we all speak in three specific time tenses - Past, Present, and Future.  One of my mentors challenged me with this question:  Where does change happen?  Can you change your past?  Can you change your future?  Although we can prepare for the future ...

Change can only happen in the PRESENT, what some call the "NOW"

For example, I remember an intense work day, deadlines, emails, text messages, voicemails, unending to do's and back logged tasks to catch up on.  I began to feel lost and resentful.  I didn't want to continue another 6 hours feeling like this.  So I used the power of language in the present to help interrupt my negative limiting pattern, I simply got resourceful asked myself a couple of questions:

• "How am I feeling right now?" (A: Confused, Overwhelmed, Resentful)

• "How would I like to feel right now?"  (A: Happy, Grateful)

• "What am I doing right now that's not working?"  (A: Sitting here keep on looking at at emails, looking too long at Facebook and YouTube videos)

• "What's one thing I might do differently right now to feel grateful?"  (A: Get up, go outside and ask myself "What am I grateful for right now?  What is truly awesome about my life right now" until I feel grateful)

Notice in the above questions how often I used the language "right now" - "right now" are two powerful language inducers of bringing our minds into the present.  Sometimes we can get effectively stuck in the past and future, that we never take advantage of an opportunity to enjoy a moment right in front of us whether we take that opportunity or we create it.

By the way, using gratitude is a powerful tool because when used effectively it implements one of the most powerful principles of influence on our minds.  It helps our mind compare and contrast our state of life as being truly abundant and prosperous however that is defined to you for me.  Effective gratitude with compare and contrast with states or situations that are not desirable.  

For example:

• I'm so grateful that I have my wife as my best friend to talk with and hold, because I remember a time when I was alone and without anyone to ask me with such endearment "What was the best part of your day?"

• I'm incredibly grateful to enjoy a fully functioning body that can walk, run, jump, drive, climb, lift because I remember what it's like to being completely immobile after getting crushed after a football and it allows me freedom in special ways and do things I might not otherwise get to do.

• I'm incredibly grateful to have the client's I do right now to work for, because I remember the anxiety of not knowing where my next meal is going to come from, and now enjoying that confidence brings a totally abundant life to me right now.

• I'm grateful to be in a warm home, protected from -30oC weather, because I remember a time being homeless after an intense house fire where I was displaced for 6 weeks.  I love being home where I can sleep in a warm bed that I can call my own.

I hope you've found this content helpful as it has served me immensely, even right now.  Because of it, this Christmas I can truly focus and enjoy the moments that matter most.  I can enjoy every note of music that life plays for me:

• "Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I invite you find and enjoy even more Abundance and Prosperity this Christmas Season and in your upcoming 2015 New Year.  If you'd like to learn even more about this kind of content contact me here.  Own your life and love it!!

Rory