There’s been one common phrase my wife and I have used that’s been in a moment of frustration, crisis, or plain irritation. Not so much at each other, but towards ourselves. It would involve little things like car keys, wallets, glasses, and other small but critical items. Or sometimes it would be a task like following up with someone. Irregardless, this phrase would sometimes through our whole day upside down and we’d be wallowing in a pit of self-despair or discouragement. It can make a 5 minute task take 20 minutes, or a 1 hour task 3 hours depending on the circumstance. It generally makes little things big, and short periods of time longer.
I remember a specific instance where my wife and I were on our way to get married in southern Alberta, and we were certain that we had everything packed. After a great drive and conversation, we were tired, it was about midnight, we did a quick check to make sure we had everything we needed for our wedding day - a look of curiosity and uncertainty came across my face and I look toward my wife and asked:
“Do you know where the wedding dress is?”
“Should be in the car…”
“I don’t see it.”
I remember my mind racing “I’ll drive back up 3.5 hours tonight!”
“Don’t you dare!!” she protested - knowing that I might fall asleep on the road.
“How are we going to get the dress?!
“We’ve got friends that live in Airdrie (where the dress was), we can ask them to drive it down.”
It all ended up working out in the end, the dress came, the wedding happened, we got married and everything worked out. In the moment, it felt like everything would come to a screeching halt. But, through my wife’s resourcefulness everything worked out.
The phrase that I was referring to in the beginning of this blog is the phrase:
“I forgot.”
Recently one of my friends who is an electrician, made a simple wiring mistake that costed the company he worked for $8,000 and almost terminated his employment.
An experienced airplane pilot illustrated the consequences of forgetting in a story an airplane crash that impacted hundreds of families:
On a dark December night 36 years ago, a Lockheed 1011 jumbo jet crashed into the Florida Everglades, killing over 100 people. This terrible accident was one of the deadliest crashes in the history of the United States.
A curious thing about this accident is that all vital parts and systems of the airplane were functioning perfectly—the plane could have easily landed safely at its destination in Miami, only 20 miles (32km) away.
During the final approach, however, the crew noticed that one green light had failed to illuminate—a light that indicates whether or not the nose landing gear has extended successfully. The pilots discontinued the approach, set the aircraft into a circling holding pattern over the pitch-black Everglades, and turned their attention toward investigating the problem.
They became so preoccupied with their search that they failed to realize the plane was gradually descending closer and closer toward the dark swamp below. By the time someone noticed what was happening, it was too late to avoid the disaster.
After the accident, investigators tried to determine the cause. The landing gear had indeed lowered properly. The plane was in perfect mechanical condition. Everything was working properly—all except one thing: a single burned-out lightbulb. That tiny bulb—worth about 20 cents—started the chain of events that ultimately led to the tragic death of over 100 people.
Of course, the malfunctioning lightbulb didn’t cause the accident; it happened because the crew placed its focus on something that seemed to matter at the moment while losing sight of what mattered most.
This story prompted me to ask myself:
What is the cost of forgetting something?
Well, it depends. Forgetting my wife’s birthday has different consequences that forgetting to bring my passport to the airport. Forgetting to look both ways before crossing the street is different than forgetting my credit card in the ATM machine.
What is the cost of forgetting something?
Well, it depends. Forgetting my wife’s birthday has different consequences that forgetting to bring my passport to the airport. Forgetting to look both ways before crossing the street is different than forgetting my credit card in the ATM machine.
I love one principle that Brandon Broadwater taught me at the Higher Laws Answer to Everything Event. That helped me realize the consequence of forgetting. Because of this I’ve placed tremendous more energy and focus on things that seemed insignificant in the moment, but later on they had a domino effect that impacted the whole result. He said this:
“Life is won and lost with the little things.”
So I began asking myself, how do I win with the little things?
I learned from different trainings that if I want predictability and clarity with the little things - those little things need to be written down, accessible, and following in a process that must create a predictable result. In the past, whenever I would get a new product I bought, like a new little toy kitchen for my children (some assembly required). I would almost certainly disregard the instructions, trusting in my capacity and intellect rather than on the creator of the product who had tested and knew the limitations and capacity and best methods of maintaining it. Realizing that there were hundreds of parts, at least 48 specific steps that needed to be followed in order, and after 45 minutes of painful lack of progress, I submitted to the instructions.
I’ve come to realize that if there’s a gap between what I do and the results I’m expericiencing I just need to ask one simple question that can fill in the gap.
“Do I have an effective process for this?”
Let me explain, a process is simply exactly what it is - a checklist, a recipe, a pattern, a set of instructions, or as webster would define it:
“a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end”
Most of the time, whenever I would forget, or consistently not achieve a result I wanted - it was because I didn’t have a process that helped me effectively get that result. And most of the time, instead of inventing the wheel, I would go to a mentor, coach, or friend who consistently achieved the result that I wanted. After getting coached in the specific thought process and behaviour patterns they used to achieve that result - I achieved it as well. I went from a 2 year procrastinated goal being done in 2 weeks, I went from 3 hour meetings being effectively done in 20 minutes, I went from being terrified of training people to helping them become so self-reliant with skills that they said to me, “I feel like I’ve been doing this for 5 years!” Of course, I’m still learning, but the comparison and contrast of results is phenomenal and I’m most grateful to begin the pathway of what I call “Process Mastery”.
This makes sense when the rich, wealthy, successful, happy relationships, families, say, “We’re not anything special, we’re not smarter than anyone else, we’re not anymore talented than anyone else, we just do things differently.”
I've noticed a paradox with following a process. I thought it might make my life robotic and rigid, but in reality, I've noticed that it unleashes my creativity to make things even more effective. It also gives me what I value most, TIME.
I've noticed a paradox with following a process. I thought it might make my life robotic and rigid, but in reality, I've noticed that it unleashes my creativity to make things even more effective. It also gives me what I value most, TIME.
Here’s a screenshot of a process I use when I commence my work each morning - I love the clear and predictable result I experience when I follow it. I used Google Forms to create this - but you can use any type of word processor to create your own checklist. Here’s what it looks like:
I wish you success in mastering and remembering the little things,
Rory
If you’d like to learn more about some of the trainings I’ve attended click here
If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com
If you’re local to Calgary, AB area and want to attend a Meetup Group I run click here
