Have you ever caught yourself taking life for granted? Have you ever heard a story that shakes you back into reality? Or you say to yourself, “Wow, I’m glad I’m not living there right now…”
Why is it, that sometimes, it takes a death, a terrorist act, or losing our income for us to help us remember what matters most?
I was a sitting passenger, in a green Honda Caravan minivan, driving to the Calgary Airport this morning, the weather a frigid -15oC, frost on the windshield, cold enough to make your bare hands burn if you’re outside for more than 5 minutes without proper winter gear.
I was with my Father-in-law, or my Oi Fu (in Cantonese), recently retired, a finishing carpenter, still working, who was kind enough to drive me. As is our tradition, we started chatting about life and what’s made the difference for us.
He relayed a transformational moment in his life, part of his story escaping Communist China some 40 years ago, with only a small inflatable raft, an unrelenting determination, roped to two of his other friends rafts, the three of them swimming across the channel by nightfall. His goal, swim the channel, bypass patrolling communist ships, and escape to Hong Kong. If he did, it would offer a life of limitless promise and opportunity.
He said to me while driving, “I think people are foolish when they complain,”
“Why do you say that?” I asked
“People don’t realize that they can open up a newspaper, look at the classifieds, and find any job they want, I still remember that finding a job wasn’t even a choice. Can you imagine? When I finished high school, there was no future. The government eliminated so many choices. That’s why I decided to leave. Even now, some people are literally running for their lives, and there’s still people in prosperity who complain about how their life isn’t good enough.”
“It’s true, I do that still and it accomplishes very little…” I admitted.
“I still remember the happiest moment of my life,” he said to me, moving on.
“What was the most happiest moment of your life?” I asked, the most curious I’ve ever been amongst his stories.
“It was the morning after attempting to escape, swimming the whole night. My friends and I were floating in the water exhausted. I saw a boat approaching us, I thought it might be a communist ship and we might be sent back home to prison. But I wasn’t sure. Then, I saw the english letters on it. I knew the ship was from Hong Kong. It wasn’t a communist ship! The boat slowed beside each of us, they lowered a rope to us.”
“Did they pull you up or did you have to climb up?”
“They didn’t pull, I climbed, I wasn’t going to stay in the water after coming so far, I had to do it.”
“The happiest moment of my life…” he continued, “Is when I landed in that Hong Kong Fisherman’s boat. Because I knew at that point, it was the beginning of My New Life. I knew I could begin to design my life the way I wanted.”
He paused, and I looked into his eyes, I could see he felt some reverence in that moment. And I took it in.
Two lessons thundered in my mind at that moment:
“Agency (the ability to choose) is a gift, but Freedom is earned.” - Brandon Broadwater
"The person with the most choices, wins." - Blair Dunkley
Frank then finished, “And ever since then, I have never complained in my life. Never.”
I paused for a moment, and admired him, I knew he wasn’t trying to be superior. I understood that he chose to be grateful no matter what his circumstances were.
What’s the point of all this?
What do we do with the freedom that is ours to enjoy?
What will we do with each minute of every day that is freely ours to build, inspire, create, love, cherish, excel, share, and uplift?
Using the knowledge I’ve learned from incredible mentors, has allowed me to enjoy freedom right now without getting myself stranded in the past or worrying about the future. It’s like having the keys to the car so I can enjoy the ride and the journey to my desired destination. People can’t make choices they know they don’t have.
Just like how my Oi Fu was offered a rope to a life of freedom, each us live in an environment where we can reject the rope offered us, or climb and design the life we desire.
Keep fighting. It’s a gift to live in such prosperity. And thank you to friends for empowering me with even more choices than I ever knew existed. I wouldn't be here without you.
If you need a friend to talk to about whatever challenge you're working on right now. Feel free to talk with me. I'm happy to make time for you.
If you’d like to learn more about what Higher Laws Training is like click here
If you’d like to contact me and connect you can email me at rcjhoch@gmail.com
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